Today my mom and I walked to my Grandparent’s to celebrate my Grandpa’s 80th (!) birthday. I brought my autoharp with because I assumed I had all the chords I needed to play a decent rendition of Happy Birthday, which I didn’t, so I played the chorus to The War of 1812 instead and yes, it was amazing.

Anyway, we were crossing the main street on the way to, and there were a bunch of shiftless hoodlums congregated outside of one of the local restaurants. So we crossed the street, me with my autoharp case strapped over my shoulder, and all of the sudden those shiftless hoodlums started yelling at us! Believing I was carrying a horn, they made some rather lewd remarks at our backs and because my Mom and I have no patience for that kind of fuckwittery, we both–without prior consultation–FLIPPED THEM OFF AT THE SAME TIME!

It was a simultaneous psychic flip-off!

With my mom!

And yes, it was amazing!

Except where I was wearing bright red gloves, she was wearing mittens.

Okay, before I continue, go find a mitten, put it on and pretend to flip someone off and tell me how that works out for you.

Heh.

“You gave them the mitten!” I told her.

I mean, I told her after I had a good, hearty laugh at her expense. Because that’s the kind of daughter she raised.

“No, I didn’t!” She said. “You flipped them the bird and I flipped them the flock!”

And because that is quite possibly the best “I accidentally flipped off a group of obnoxious teens with a mittened hand” save ever, I share it with all of you, should you ever find yourself in a similar situation (and you will).

Also, I would like to see ‘Flipping the Flock’ sweep the the nation and go out in a beautiful blaze of glory like the Spice Girls.

So tell your friends. And next time someone offends you, you know what to do.