I realise a lot of you long-time blog readers might be wondering what happened to my future career in music. I feel I owe you an update and an explanation.

For those readers just tuning in, a while ago, I wrote a blog entry about my future career in music. For those of you who don’t want to click the link for a refresher, it was basically an entry about how I would–I mean will–become the next Joanna Newsom, except with an autoharp (at the time, I had just gotten an autoharp and I loved the thing).

Anyway, part of that entry included sharing the tracklist to my future album GHOST HUNTING WITH COURTNEY & FRIENDS, even though the songs weren’t written yet. One of those songs was called An Extremely Close and Incredibly Loud Staggering Work of Heartbreaking Genius or Pomo Authors: A Song in Titles

You’ll be happy to know my work did not stop at the conceptualization my future album.

After I wrote me that entry, I penned me some lyrics.

Yes, I penned me the lyrics to that particular song. I just never posted them on my blog because I was afraid Rick Moody would google himself and then make it his mission to take me down but then I realized Rick Moody is probably too busy contributing to the liner notes of Sufjan Stevens’s Christmas albums to busy himself with me (OR IS HE?).

So for those who can’t wait for the release of my much anticipated first album and also for those who need to be comforted in knowing I am still working on my much anticipated first album, here are the lyrics to POMO AUTHORS, A SONG IN TITLES. I’ve bolded those titles for convenience’s sake. I’ve also linked to their amazon pages because I’m thoughtful like that.

An Extremely Close and Incredibly Loud Staggering Work of Heartbreaking Genius or
Pomo Authors: A Song in Titles
by Courtney

In The Ice Storm of ’73
I was Extremely Loud and
you were Incredibly Close to me

Adverbs, Adverbs, Adverbs

Together we kept a Diary
and learned the difference between what we have
and How We Are Hungry

Adverbs, Adverbs, Adverbs
American Psycho
I’m onto you, Rick Moody

whee
eee
z

(I realize it’s arguable that Rick Moody is a postmodern author because his name didn’t come up on Wikipedia’s list of postmodern authors–and Wikipedia gets the final say–but my reasoning is he is probably postmodern by association. Because it’s catching, you know.)

Now. I feel my song is genius for a variety of reasons, the first being that I wrote it and the second being that it begs the question, “Courtney? What is post-modernism?”

And I think if anyone should be asked that question it should be ME.

Because then I can answer, “Well, whatever-your-name-is, Wikipedia tells us that post-modernism is meaningless, according to Noam Chomsky.”

(OH NO HE DIDN’T!!!)

It is all part of my master plan, you see, for the career in music I have never given up on. I will make sure I am asked this question on television so Pomo Authors will rally against me and then I’ll sell like, a million albums because we all know the music industry is not about the music it’s about ~*THE DRAMA*~ (also GHOST HUNTING WITH COURTNEY & FRIENDS will win 7 grammys). Then we will all make peace, love and respect (because I really have nothing against pomo authors, it would just be a publicity ploy, but they wouldn’t know that–pretty clever, huh!) and I will invite them to be in the music video and that’ll sell another million albums. And in my music video for this song, I will dance with a snake. I mean my body double will dance with a snake. And my autoharp. And my autoharp will be all pretty and sparkly because I will have bedazzled it with The Original Bedazzler. And Joanna Newsom will be so jealous of me, it will be amazing. And my success will be SO GREAT it won’t be able to be quantified.

Except in monetary terms.

And there’s your update on my future career in music, which, rest-assured, I am constantly working towards when I’m not writing books.

In case you were wondering.

Just because I don’t talk about it as much as I used to doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned it, MOM.