I hate when you have a hole on the inside of your coat pocket and the Bonne Bell lipgloss that cost you four dollars ($!) falls into the lining and you go weeks thinking you’ve lost it and then one day you can feel it in the lining of your coat and you’re like YES and then you tear the heck out of your coat pocket desperately trying to retreive said lipgloss because it cost FOUR WHOLE DOLLARS and basically long story short I need a new coat.
Also, this happened yesterday and I’ve since lost the four dollar Bonne Belle for serious! Cry.
Lipsmackers were all the rage when I was in school. I would buy 500 different flavors and then put them on and then eat them off my lips during class and then when lunch period rolled around I wasn’t even hungry because I was full of lipgloss. Probably that will have serious health repercussions down the line. We will see a whole generation of people who have stomach issues because it will turn out Lipsmackers takes 30 years to digest or something. Who knows.
Here’s a writing meme that is floating around the internets that I have decided to participate in.
List the novels you have written in part or in whole:
From 2004 – present
Novel 1: Ruth Complete
Contemporary fiction about a chick in her early twenties with huge mother issues, who hates her boyfriend and her suicidal best friend. Especially her suicidal best friend. I think 99% of that novel was actually just the main character being all, JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY at her best friend because she was just not a very patient person. Nobody was happy in the end. It was very Canadian.
Novel 2: Jude Complete
A ‘borderline YA’ where I basically wrote about interpersonal relationships that could be featured on Jerry Springer (how awkward to find out your kind-of boyfriend is having sex with your mom!) as plainly and unassumingly as possible. So it was basically about how normal people leading Jerry Springer type lives go about their day-to-day because you know it can’t all be throwing chairs and ripping each other’s hair out–that’s only some of the time! That said, this novel holds a special place in my heart.
Novel 3: Ennis Incomplete at about 100 pages
Contemporary fiction about a DUDE in his early twenties. Ennis actually started with the name. I took this meme online that told me I should’ve been named Ennis if I was a boy. I was like, wow, that is a great name. I will have to write a book about a guy named Ennis. The plot was inspired by an episode of Maury (yeah) but then somehow turned into a Love Letter to Roy Orbison (seriously) and then I pretty much gave up on it. I LOVE YOU ROY ORBISON!
Novel 4: Peter & Margot Complete
Hallelujah. I was meant to write YA, Upper YA–that is what I learned from this novel. I decided to be less quirky and more commercial so this novel ended up being about a bunch of sex-obsessed teenagers in a catholic school (because I guess nothing says commercial fiction like being obsessed with sex in a catholic school?). Social commentary abounded! Alternating POVs, written in third person. Both firsts for me. I was possessed when I wrote this, I had such a blast. This novel got me super close to getting a foot in the door but not quite close enough, which in the end, was a good thing. I wouldn’t be able to write another novel like this if I tried. I don’t particularly want to, fun as it was.
Novel 5: Ye Olde Fashioned Ghost Story Incomplete at about 50 pages
This one embarrasses me so much. I was determined to write a cozy ghost story and it turned out to be a total yawn fest and the female protaganist was SO WEAK IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. She had no personality, she was passive and she didn’t swear. YAWN. Also I remember outlining the plot for Lori in a chat and then seeing a HUGE GAPING UNFIXABLE PLOT HOLE and then freaking out, so that’s mostly why I dropped this one. I would really like to write a ghost/haunted house story one day but the problem is I am less interested in WHY a ghost would haunt a house and just more interested in the fact that the house is haunted or something. Like seriously, who cares WHO the ghostly footsteps belong to. Let’s just focus on the ghostly footsteps and be scared and then move onto the next freaky occurance, k thnx.
Novel 6: Crazy Death Town Novel Incomplete at about 70 pages
Speculative YA. I go back to this one periodically because I really like the idea. It was sort of inspired by a couple of urban legends and a famous murder from back in the day (I ain’t telling you which one). I feel like this novel eventually has to be written because I can really see it in my head.
Novel 7: The Book that Featured the Internets Incomplete at about 100 pages + odds and ends
Upper YA. The most I am willing to say about this one is that it involved the internet. I gave it up because talking about the internet in fiction is boring. I couldn’t figure out how much to explain or how much to assume people already knew so I guess it started as an INTERNET PRIMER and then on page 200 you found out the character’s first name and the novel actually began.
Novel 8: Cracked Up to Be Complete
Upper YA. About the popular girl who doesn’t want to be popular anymore. Was going to take an indefinite break from writing if this book didn’t go anywhere, so I did not hold anything back, particularly where the snarky female protaganist was concerned. Working title was KEEP AWAY CLOSE (idk) but I knew it sucked as a title so I was all like, “NAME THIS!” at my sister. And she did. And she did such a good job too! I’m proud of your titling skills, bb. Anyway. This book got me my agent! And it is going to be my first published book! And I still can’t believe it!
Novel 9: Your Mom current work in progress
This one I do not want to talk about. >:(
Soon April will be over! And then it will be May! And then I’ll be seeing this guy in concert! Yay!