Oh, what a day Thursday was.
What A Day, Indeed.
Thursday was partly A Day because the first pass pages for Cracked Up to Be came in the mail! First pass pages mean I got to see the book as a book without it being an actual book. Like, I got to see the font, chapter headings–the layout, basically–unbound and on normal sized paper. It was so cool. First pass pages also meant I had to read Cracked Up to Be AGAIN, for the thousandth time since I wrote it. I thought it would be the same as it always is, but it was so weird this time.
This is going to sound so stupid but THE LAYOUT CHANGED EVERYTHING. The characters, the dialogue, the narration–everything. But in a good way. But it was surprising. I am continually shocked that I wrote a character in first person present tense who has fooled me in the same ways I hope she fools everyone else. And then some. Also embarrassed.
Way to know your protagonist, Courtney.
Anyway.
So does anyone want to tell me what I should vlog about? Consider this an informal poll about what I should vlog about because I am really beginning to hate my Flip Video. Every time I push the record button I curl up into fetal position and cry because I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO VLOG ABOUT.
I guess I could vlog myself curling up into fetal position and crying, but that would probably be awkward for everyone. Maybe I will do a parody of A&E’s Intervention, where instead of being on the drugs, I am on the Smucker’s Sundae Syrup, WHICH I AM. My God, that stuff is good on Saltines. Yes, Saltines. Do you know how I came to this most miraculous discovery since dinosaurs. I was eating Smucker’s Sundae Syrup by the spoonful and then my eyes befell a jar of Saltines. And then I was like. Hmm. And then the next thing I knew, I WAS CRUSHING SALTINES IN CHOCOLATE SMUCKER’S SYRUP AND SNORTING THEM UP MY NOSE.
And then I discovered they tasted much better uncrushed in my mouth. Mmm.
So I watched the BBC’s Pride & Prejudice with my grandmother and it’s SO SLOW to start with but by the middle I was all like TEE HEE BLUSH BLUSH SWOON SWOON OH MR. DARCY TAKE MEH NOW. Although I don’t know why the BBC could show Colin Firth all WET multiple times and that’s okay and yet they FREEZE FRAME ON THE ENDING KISS. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I was like, hello. 6 hours and five hundred uncut dance segments later, I deserve to see a little tongue action. Jeeze. I also think Colin Firth overdid the glaring just a little bit. Like, if he was holding a butcher knife it would’ve made a little more sense sometimes. And Jane was CLEARLY not the prettier sister. And also what would you do if you were a chick in the 1800s and you couldn’t sing, play the piano, embroider or speak French? Who would love you?
NO ONE, that’s who.
Holy Capitals for Emphasis, Batman.
Also, I really think someone should make a Pride & Prejudice fanvid of Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy to Tom Jones’s Sex Bomb because THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS. I have given it a lot of thought for some reason. Like, it haunts my dreams. I am secretly envisioning it my head and basically it goes like this:
Tom Jones is all SEX BOMB, SEX BOMB, YOU’RE A SEX BOMB and Colin Firth is like, *glares* and then Tom Jones is all MAKE ME EXPLODE ALTHOUGH YOU KNOW THE ROUTE TO GO TO SEX MEH SLOW and Colin Firth is like, *glares* and then Tom Jones is all OH BABY SEX BOMB SEX BOMB and Colin Firth is like, *glares*.
HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE. I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
Seriously someone make this for me.
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publication date
Friday July 4th, 2008 @ 4:40am
661 words, 53 sentencesmeta stuff
categories: cracked up to be,movies,vlog
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I think you should vlog about teen domains.
LOLZ
I am of no help.
My brain is mush.
I have a job interview in two hours.
xo
How cool that you got your pages, Courtney! It’s one of those big steps that makes the book seem more real. I know what you mean about the layout changing everything. Though the words aren’t different, the pages carry an authority that the ms. doesn’t. Enjoy!
I know exactly what you mean about your book becoming a kind of stranger. It’s so weird but cool, huh? It really does take on a life of its own.
“And also what would you do if you were a chick in the 1800s and you couldn’t sing, play the piano, embroider or speak French? Who would love you?”
Oh, gosh. You’d better hope you could fall back on your looks and your family’s money, I guess! You could employ a hot tutor tout suite, in the hopes of improving yourself, but inevitably you’d instantly fall for him and then *ruin* yourself instead. Hopefully a wealthy uncle would advocate on your behalf and impress upon this young fellow the importance of saving your precious reputation by marrying at once. Over the years you’d have too many children together and your still attractive tutor husband would begin to appreciate the charms of a young student who can sing, play the piano, embroider *and* speak fluent French. They would flee to France together and leave you and your 6 children high and dry. Disaster!
Have you seen Becoming Jane, by the way? I love James McAvoy beyond reason in it.
The Tom Jones idea is hilarious. Please do it!
Every time you mention the stages along the way of the time coming soon when your book will be coming out it makes me smile:) Your talents with words and images has always shinned but now they will shine in libraries. Them’s churchs around these parts :)
If you haven’t already, search YouTube for it because there’s probably a million P&P Firthy fanvids there already. I mean, seriously . . . people make fanvids for everything (said the girl who wants to make a Tom Hanks fanvid to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity.” If it hasn’t already been done).
I’m adding my plea to Courtney’s — someone please make that music video! Just the description made me die laughing. (You are hilarious, dude.)
P.S. This made me go revisit the Evgeni Plushenko video (in case anyone else hasn’t seen it, it’s here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xxl_X1PbFng), which I hadn’t seen since the first time you mentioned it to me. HEE. I still think the announcer going, “Ve ah heah to pump you up,” is in the top five best parts.
Also, I really think someone should make a Pride & Prejudice fanvid of Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy to Tom Jones’s Sex Bomb because THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
I think my head just exploded from the awesomeness of that concept.
For mentioning Colin Firth and Sex Bomb in the same post you have officially become my favourite human being EVER.
Seriously, can I vote for you for something?
vlog about something that means a lot to you. don’t be frivilous too often. be sincere :)
Courtney, I am only halfway through this post, but I got as far as the description of who would marry you in the 1800s if you couldn’t ______ and I just barely crawled back up from the floor to my keyboard to type this with a horrible stomach cramp from hell that YOU gave me because I am CRACKED UP RIGHT NOW. (hey! a sequel!) I’ll be back when I can compose myself better. My cats are staring.
*wiping tears from eyes* Ouch, I’m in pain and it’s all your fault.
Okay, so I was like – make a vlog about you curling up and crying in the fetal position. And then I read the next line. Doh.
I KNOW! MAKE A VLOG ABOUT LOLCATS! YESSSSSSSS!!!
“TEE HEE BLUSH BLUSH SWOON SWOON OH MR. DARCY TAKE MEH NOW.” *thump-thump-thump*
“Jane was CLEARLY not the prettier sister” – THANK YOU for saying this!! And did it bother YOU that her hair bun or whatever was WAY out-of-proportion-smaller than the rest of her head?? And she looked like a badly carved greek statue? And a man with a bun? And her eyes were too close together and her neck looked like those things from Star Trek TNG…with the neck things. –I really hope the actress never reads your blog. Heh, um, but she could really…act.
And do you watch Absolutely Fabulous and did it bother you to see Saffy playing Lydia? WTF??
Hahaha OMG I can’t stop laughing over your Colin Firth/Tom Jones vision. SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO THAT, they will be completely interwebs famous for 20 minutes because of it. I really hate Kiera Knightly, she COMPLETELY ruined the Pirates of the Caribbean movies with her dumb face. What is it with British actresses and their perpetually pursed lips? Is that supposed to make you look hot? It totally does not. Liz Hurley used to do it all the time but THANK GOODNESS she finally stopped.
Ok, sorry for the tangent. I would rather snort chocolate covered crackers than watch her (Kiera dumbface) in P&P, I love that novel and I don’t want her dumb pursed-lips face to ruin it for me, forever.
As for your flip video! I have no idea what you should vlog about, but my vote is for more artsy fartsy videos like the one you previously posted. How do you say that? Vee-log? Vuh-log?
Vero: Hah! I will call it Courtney’s Random Vlog, then. I hope the interview went well! I was crossing my fingers.
mrh: It really is an authority thing, I think! I definitely enjoyed it. Thank you. :)
CK: Totally weird and totally cool. And hah! So I think basically what you’re saying in the most hilarious way ever is that if you weren’t rich you were definitely up the creek. Those hot tutors! You can’t trust them! I think you have a novel synopsis in your comment, you know. Just sayin’. I haven’t seen Becoming Jane but I really should because James McAvoy is HOT (this is a good enough reason to watch a movie, Y?).
Brian: Aw, thank you. :)
J: I searched youtube and found a P&P fanvid of Colin Firth to I’m Too Sexy, which is ALMOST what I want. But not quite. I might just have to suck it up and figure out how to make it myself. And you should TOTALLY make that Tom Hanks fanvid, mwahaha. The internet would be richer for it.
A: SEE, SOMEONE MUST MAKE IT. It is in demand. And bwahaha, God I love that video. Have you seen Tom Jones’s official video to Sex Bomb? That is hilarious in an entirely different way.
Briony: I thought of you the whole time I wrote this entry. VOTE ME FOR YOUR CO-PRESIDENT. Oh wait. ;)
kelvin: you make it sound so simple. ;)
Emily: ahah! Omg. I want to write that book–CRACKED UP RIGHT NOW. Sorry to floor you. Except not really. Mwahahah! And I need a cat to make a vlog about LOL cats! Crry! Everything is determined to keep me from it. AND YES! OH MY GOD, YES. I totally noticed that she had that greek statue carving thing going on! HEr neck was WAY too big! Yes! I actually didn’t mind Jane at all but Eliza was way prettier and that the whole family could not see was a glaring oversight to me and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS SAFFY!!!!! I COULDN’T PLACE IT. I was like, “WHERE HAVE I SEEN HER BEFORE?!” I LOVE AbFab and I never made the connection! I fell out of my chair when I read that comment! Oh my gosh. Saffy would totally not approve of Lydia.
ula: ahaha, for some reason I decided to like Kiera Knightly after she played a song on her teeth on a talkshow, that makes NO SENSE, I know. But Jennifer Ehle (sp) is definitely the better Eliza. She also said that she was told to cut back on the pouting for P&P hilariously enough. Liz Hurley drives me NUTS though! Nuts! Never apologize for tangents! Watch the BBC version with Colin Firth, it is really excellent and Kiera’s face won’t ruin it for you. And if I art fart it too much I’ll turn everyone off, I bet! They’ll call me a PAF! I say vuh-log, and I’ve heard it called vuh-log, but my sister calls it Vee-log, so… I think I will never say it out loud to anyone lest I be saying it wrong and embarrass myself.
i would just like you to know that miss a. copied the colin firth/sex bomb part of this post into an IM conversation to show me. (being the pride and prejudice fangirl that i am.) and all day i had that song stuck in my head. and now i am trying to read my shiny new copy of ‘the annotated pride and prejudice’ and i KEEP THINKING of that. and it’s all your fault. the end.
p.s. congratulations on your book :)
Hah! Oh my gosh, I love it. I will GLADLY accept fault for that (I think EVERYONE should have that song running through their head when they read Pride & Prejudice). !!!! Your comment FTW!!! Thank you for it and the congratulations!
OMG, maybe instead of vlogs you should make Mr. Darcy fan vids! (I am full of bad ideas. Please don’t pay any attention.)
THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, THOUGH. Because… I’m totally failing at the vlog thing, heh.