wait, first let me tell you a story

First, I just want to thank EVERYONE who gave me a yo! It’s crazy awesome that you did and I’m crazy thrilled that you did. To be fair, I pimped out the giveaway in multiple places but that didn’t guarantee anyone entering it! But entered it was, and shocked I am, and each comment on that post made me smile. By the time I got to the end of them, I was smiling so much my face really hurt. Like, it hurt so much I cried through my smile. But that’s okay because it’s good to smile, no matter how much it hurts. This guy agrees with me:





So. For the draw, I cut out equally sized pieces of paper WITH MY HANDS and wrote your names on each of them. WITH MY HANDS. Every single name. This was difficult because we all know typing has made handwriting obselete. Just joking. I’m really lazy, actually; that’s why it was difficult.

I had three witnesses to the drawing: my mother, my sister and my grandmother. They wouldn’t let me take their photographs and because I accidentally gouged out some skin on my face earlier this week (right under my eyebrow! I’m still not sure how I did this…), I wouldn’t let THEM take MY photograph either. So I can’t prove to you any of us were there, but I assure you, we were.

(Oh, what a hopeless lot we are!)

Still, I was determined someone be photographed picking the winning name because that was the reason WHY I painstakingly cut little pieces of paper and wrote on them (thank you to those who suggested random generators, but they’re hard on the photo-ops, yo!). Luckily, my BFF from way back helped me out.

Meet Conky:







In an ideal world, everyone knows who Conky is. For those of you who have seen Trailer Park Boys, Conky needs no introduction. For those of you who haven’t, Conky is an evil ventriliquist dummy that belongs to Bubbles and makes him do bad things. His fingerpuppet counterpart has been my BFF FOR YEARS NOW. We chill and make a lot of sinister plans together.

Anyway, Conky was kind of enough to do the drawing for me since my stylist was out of town. I mean since I mysteriously gouged out a piece of skin on my face (I’m so HOT, you guys). So that is Conky, and you will note that he is posing with all of your names, folded to perfection, and placed in one of my grandmother’s pots. Those pots are like 50 years old, by the way. They’re great.

So after we placed the lid on the pot and shook it and shook it and shook it, Conky peered over the edge…







And chose.

And the winner of an advance uncorrected proof of Cracked Up to Be is……


You know, when Conky picked the name and I looked at it, I laughed. They’ll know why when they see they’ve won. Oh wait, I still have to tell you who won, don’t I?

And ze winner of an advance uncorrected proof of Cracked Up to Be is….







TKT aka Thomas Kingsley Troupe of Tappity Tappity and author of the incredibly adorable Patrick’s Super Socks! Yay Thomas! I’ll be emailing you. You’ll have 24 hours to get back to me or Conky will be diving back into the 50 year old pot!


***



And now the guilt. I would have LOVED to have given everyone a copy of Cracked Up to Be that showed interest in it–as I said before, the turn out was incredibly heartening–and I do regret that I can’t. THANK YOU for entering. It really made my week.

The good news is, if you really really really want a copy, stay tuned! This was not the last giveaway (unless I have miscounted my galleys!)–but it will have been the easiest.

Dum dum dum.

And thank you again, guys, you rock.

    • publication date

      Friday August 15th, 2008 @ 12:01am
      655 words, 65 sentences

      meta stuff

      categories: cracked up to be

    • share this entry on a plethora of social networks:

      e-mail a link to this post right now:
      email

      download a pdf version of this entry:
      pdf version

Comments Closed

  1. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Congrats to tkt. Although I’m insanely jealous and will have to clear my entire schedule for the next few weeks for stalking purposes.

  2. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Aw, bb! xoxoxox

    (Who are you going to stalk, him or me? Cause I think it should be me, yo.)

  3. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Yay TKT!! If he can’t get back to you because someone kidnapped him, bound his hands, and taped his mouth shut, KEEP MY NAME IN THE POT. :D

    STAYING TUNED! And LOL Conky! Somehow I think it’s going to be a long time before Courtney stops self-mutilating and gives us another vlog post. ;)

    Yay for the YO contest!

  4. 3 years, 5 months ago

    … “if”, huh? LOL.

    AND YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THE VLOG THING, SADFACE.

    Thanks for entering. PS, ~*SPARKLE SPARKLE*~ I will be getting back to you soon!!

  5. 3 years, 5 months ago

    You, so I can get my hands on one of the other 9 copies when you aren’t looking.

    No worries, I’ll leave a super dashing-smashing print in its place.

    LOLZ

    I am so sad (guilt-trip ensues har har).

    xo

  6. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Hee–there only four copies left now!

    And…

    AAAH STOP WITH THE GUILT

    *is guilty*

    ;)

  7. 3 years, 5 months ago

    I can’t believe Conky didn’t pick my name, the little bugger! But ah, I’ll be big about this and say congrats, TKT!

    I so love that Conky participated in the proceedings, even if he didn’t pick my name :)

    By the way, are you covering for Conky – was he the one who gauged your face? You really gotta watch that one!

  8. TKT
    3 years, 5 months ago

    Yes! I never win jack and/or squat, so I’m completely stoked to have won. Seriously. I like tipped over 5 times, that’s how much I wanted to win this thing. Also, I cried tears. Delicious tears. They probably tasted like Caffeine Free Diet Coke, since that’s what I drink lots of at night…whilst I write.

    And please…with the signing of the book? I’d be ever-so-grateful!

    Thanks Courts! And most importantly…THANK YOU, CONKY! You’ll have to meet my puppets Beardy and Smokey someday. (they’re a Jesus and Fireman puppet…respectively)

    Now to camp out by the mailbox!!!

  9. 3 years, 5 months ago

    CK: Conky IS a little bugger! I might have even said you were a Conky fan and then he was like, “COURTNEY ARE YOU TRYING TO INFLUENCE THE DRAW?” And I was like, “No! How can I do that! You’re picking! I’m just sayin’.” And that’s when he took the piece out of my face. I mean wait. I did not say that.

    TKT: Congratulations!! I’m stoked that you’re stoked! Also… bwah! Delicious tears. But I am appalled at the idea of both Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Does that have ANY taste? ;) Oh gosh, signing it! I can do that. That’s going to be surreal!! Also, I bet Conky and Beardy and Smokey would totally get along. Or they wouldn’t. Either way, I am sure hilariousness would ensue.

  10. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Hmm, remind self to bribe finger puppet next time entered into prize draw. (Though quite what kind of bribe a finger puppet would accept is still a mystery – am not even sure Wikipedia can help with this one.)

    Staying tuned, just in case :)
    Want want want!

    Even though my mother always said, those that want don’t get. (Yeah, she was a FUN mum. Hehe.)

    Congrats to TKT. Am officially jealous.
    But enough with the guilt okay? :)
    xx

  11. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Conky totally likes Pepperoni. He told me to tell you. Conky is a big weirdo, though.

    Hee re: your mom!!!

    I can’t stop with the guilt though! I went to Catholic school for like 10 years! My guilt complex is so ingrained in me… it’s just unfixable! :D

  12. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Having never seen the Trailer Boys, I can only take your word on his evilness. Here, in your pictures, he seems so pleasant, so hardworking. I see genuine interest in his eyes as he peers over the edge of the pot.

    Great contest!

  13. 3 years, 5 months ago

    I totally knew I should have paid Conky a cheap whiskey bribe. Damn, the regret, the regret! *pulls hair*

    Oh well, next time I’ll know who’s really in charge over there…

  14. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Danette: He is SERIOUSLY evil! Don’t be fooled! You can’t sleep with both eyes closed if he’s in the same room!

    Angela: Conky totally would’ve gone for that kind of bribe. LIVE LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS, THOUGH! There’s always next time. :)

  15. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Dude. His name got picked in your drawing and … didn’t you name get picked in his? ::cue Twilight Zone music::

  16. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Seriously!!

  17. A.
    3 years, 5 months ago

    [fervently hopes you haven't miscounted your galleys]!

  18. 3 years, 5 months ago

    :)!

  19. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Thanks Courtney for this fun contest. Congrats to TKT. Lucky guy.

  20. 3 years, 5 months ago

    Thanks, Christy!!