So I am responsible for two of my friends reading Twilight and I feel pretty accomplished about this. I could be wrong, but I think that book is one of the most underappreciated and overlooked of its time. If you don’t follow my twitter, you missed my Twilight Tweetcapade and it was EPIC. I’m tempted to reproduce it here so I might remember it always and also to see if I can get more of my friends to read the book because if I don’t–well. I don’t want to say the book’s success hinges on me or anything, but I THINK WE KNOW THAT’S THE TRUTH.

For the most part, I had a really fun time with the sparkly vampires of Forks (you should read these books! Don’t be a hold-out cause they’re popular, yo!), but can I just say that Edward’s sleep-stalking creeped me out? Guess I’m unromantic. And then I read on Stephenie Meyer’s website that vampires don’t need to blink and then it creeped me out EVEN MORE because I kept envisioning Edward sleep-stalking Bella over and over again in my head and it looked like this:

Edward: (O_O)
Bella: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Bella: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Bella: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Bella: (-_-) zzZ
Bella: (-_o) *
Edward: (O_O)
Bella: (ó.ò)

This is what it would look like if Edward sleep-stalked me, just so you all know:

Edward: (O_O)
Courtney: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Courtney: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Courtney: (-_-) zzZ
Edward: (O_O)
Courtney: (-_-) zzZ
Courtney: (-_o) *
Edward: (O_O)
Courtney: (ó.ò)
Courtney: (ò.ó)
Courtney: (9ò_ó)=@
Edward: (;_;) *sob*
Edward: [gone]
Courtney: (-_-) zzZ

Then we would lay out some boundaries and have an otherwise healthy relationship, I think, because I probably couldn’t resist a vampire who looked like ~*RPATTZ*~, let’s face it. Truefax: I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE. Like I might be thinking about it more than once a day since I finished the first book. I think I have a problem, you guys.

I don’t know how to end this blog entry.



PS: Time Lord/Time Management Ninja, Daisy Whitney featured the Cracked Up to Be trailer on! Yay! Check it out and chime in with your favourite book trailers!

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37 Responses to how to be an empowered stalkee

  1. Min says:

    Those eyes! You are cracking my ass UP over here pointing Edward’s unblinking eyes at me!

  2. courtney says:


  3. Annika says:


  4. courtney says:


  5. S. says:

    OMG SUCH A PERFECT PICTURE OF WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE. YOU SHOULD LOOK UP THE HTML TO MAKE THEM SPARKLE. As K. said — when AREN’T all caps appropriate? ;) Have we broken her yet, by the way?

  6. courtney says:


    I keep trying. She’s such a hold out. K, IF YOU ARE READING THIS…. READ IT, DAMMIT. READ IT GOOD.

  7. A says:

    Okay, that punching emoticon is tremendous.

  8. courtney says:

    ISN’T IT. I discovered it on Wikipedia along with a monster emoticon that I can’t remember anymore but LOVED at the time!!!

  9. Briony says:

    Sparkle slap!!!!

  10. kelvin says:

    i think you have lots of problems.

  11. courtney says:

    *cue laugh track*

  12. Emily says:

    ROFL!! Oh GOD, ROFL! But you *know* you’d break your hand trying to punch Edward, right?

    Oh, and did it make anyone else uncomfortable when Bella said she’d “be right back” or needed a “human minute” and left him on her bed while she SHOWERED and BRUSHED HER TEETH and TWEEZED HER NOSTRIL HAIRS in the bathroom for hours??? I mean, I know the guy is immortal, but I’d think Edward would rather go watch grass grow in the sparkly-meadow, but that’s just me…

  13. Damon says:

    Aren’t you supposed to disclose that Stephenie Meyer has you on a retainer, lest anyone believe your enthusiasm is genuine.

    Oh, and v. cool on the tv week thing.

  14. courtney says:

    Emily: TRUE! I never thought of the danger I’d be putting my hand in. But I think it would be worth it if we could come to some kind of agreement where he stopped sleep-stalking me and we went on a normal date. And–YES THAT PART. I was like, Bella, you are taking forever! EDWARD IS WAITING!!! You don’t make Edward wait!!! EVEN IF HE DOES HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.


  15. whitney says:

    I like to think that my tweets helped inspire you to pick it up.

    And wow, you are hilarious my friend.

  16. courtney says:

    God they did. It is the trickle down effect!!! Or peer pressure!

  17. sruble says:

    You kill me Courtney! Your Edward sleep stalking is HILARIOUS!!! It creeped me out too, BTW, so you’re not alone there.

    I’m bookmarking this post for later.

    Stephanie (a.k.a. sruble)

  18. courtney says:

    Aaah! Thank you! I am glad I am not alone in the being creeped out because I don’t know what would creep me out more 1) the sleep stalking itself or 2) being along in being creeped out by it!!!

  19. HB says:

    LOL! I will never look at emoticons the same way again.

  20. courtney says:

    I wish someone would make the condensed twilight entirely out of emoticons!!!!

  21. sruble says:

    For me, sleep stalking is creepier than being the only one creeped out by it. Then again, I’ve never been one of those people that thinks watching people sleep (or having them watch me) is cool or sexy, or whatever. It seems like it’s a common enough thing in romances, though, for TV, film, and books, that I can see where SM would think it was good for Twilight. Some people think it’s comforting, like being protected, too. I consider it annoying and/or creepy; how am I supposed to sleep if I know someone is staring at me all night?


    eep! I think I’d punch him too, even if he was gorgeous. Of course the punch would hurt me more than him, since Edward is made of like steel or something (Superman comparison? nah, Superman sleeps and if you punch him, it doesn’t hurt him, or you).

    Edward: (0_0)
    Superman: (-_-) zzZ

  22. starrynite says:

    Just so you know, i am so buying Twilight tomorrow. Because I cannot stand to not really know what all the crazy twittering was about hehe.

    And also, you know, vampires! :)

  23. A Twilight made entirely of emoticons? I think I would enjoy that better than I did the books.

  24. Yo! Courtney, I am channeling you right now. Just in case you feel like you’re going through a portkey or something, it’s actually just me, with a can of coke, my manuscript file open and Tegan and Sara blasting!

    Actually, that was a lie. I’m really listening to Ode to Joy, but everything else is true.

  25. courtney says:

    Sruble: Seriously! Also, 99% of the human population is not that attractive when they’re sleeping. I would feel so violated and embarrassed if I found out someone was sleep-stalking me during my most ugly time of day or something. But you’re so right–it is all over movies, book, television. There needs to be a NO MORE SLEEP-STALKING IN MEDIA campaign or MORE MOVIES/BOOKS/TELEVISION WHERE SLEEP-STALKING LOOKS CREEPY! Ahaha Edward vs. Superman! Best ever!

    starrynite: YES!!!!!! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE! Omg, you must twitter how you find it when you start reading it. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on it!!!!!!

    Brian: Someone needs to get on that now.

    Daisy: YES! Even though it was not Tegan & Sara, I can appreciate Ode to Joy. ROCK ON! If anyone can rock on to Ode to Joy, it has to be Daisy Whitney, yo.

  26. kelvin says:
    Archie Comics unveils new logos, trade dress

  27. Angela says:

    LOL, that was FUN-NEY! Funny, funny, funny.


    (Alive Among Zombies courtesy of WIKI)

  28. pseudosu says:

    I was one of those “it’s too popular to interest me” hold-outs, but I checked it out to determine whether my novel may actually be YA (Yep.) and became hooked.
    Your emoticon theater is hilarious!
    Now I can’t wait for the movie either. I’m still a little annoyed with myself for drinking the koolaide on this one but it’s too late.

  29. courtney says:

    Angela: HAH! I love it!

    Pseudoso: I made it for like three years! I feel your pain. :) It’s because the Koolaide sparkles, I bet! Who can resist ~*Sparkly Koolaide*~?!

  30. Bobbie says:

    Ha! My husband’s older brother tells of how he used to wake up to my husband watching him in his sleep when they were kids. Freaked them both out since my husband never had any memory of these happenings. Now I’m wondering if I should have requested a prenup regarding separate LOCKED bedrooms.

    I agree that the sleep-stalking was creepy. But then again, isn’t falling in love with a guy who used to suck human blood for decades kinda creepy, too? Even if he now only sucks *animal* blood? And I thought cigarette breath was bad. So I’m wondering if maybe Bella herself isn’t just a little creepier than Edward for thinking nothing of any of it. But I did love the series.

  31. courtney says:

    Bobbie, that is hilarious! Do you think… you have married EDWARD CULLEN HIMSELF? And not just a guy with the same habit?! :)

    You know–you’re so right about Bella. She should’ve been a lot more freaked out about that than she was. I was like, “Why aren’t you screaming?!” When I read it. Even still, like you, I had a good time with it (well, book 1–still haven’t read the rest!).

  32. Anthony says:


    I dube thee emote, THE FIST OF COURTNENY!

  33. courtney says:

    Anthony: *cracks up* !!!!!!!!

  34. RPATTZ can sleepstalk me anytime

  35. courtney says:

    Me too, bb. Me too. But not Edward.