Look at this, you guys. LOOK AT THIS:

I love this woman.

Lady Gaga is my hero. I think she sets a fine example for the writing community. Speaking as an author, she has a played a large part in my career and my attitude toward my career. In fact, if you write and hope to make a career out of it, you need to take a page out of Lady Gaga’s book.

HOW LADY GAGA WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER


01. She eschews pants! I eschew pants as well, sort of. I mean, I don’t wear socially acceptable pants out in public. So that’s close. I think this is a large part of being a writer: breaking free of the shackles of pantaloons until eventually you can’t go out in public anymore (unless you are Lady Gaga). If you can’t go out in public anymore, you become a hermit. My vision of a writer involves never leaving the house, so… HALFWAY THERE, Y’ALL. I’ll let you know when I arrive because you won’t know if I do, because I’ll already be HERE.

02. When I first heard of Lady Gaga, I thought I would hate her. I was like, “Who is this woman trying to be?” She had the poptastic sensibilities of her foremothers (Lady BritBrit, Xtina) and yet she was a walking art display, the kind of art that hipsters love. What the hell is that? I love pop music but I tend to hate walking art displays that features the kind of art hipsters love. Yet Lady Gaga is so much of NEITHER and the best of EITHER, that the only thing I could DO was love her. So, as a writer, you should… take elements of things and combine them into stories that people love. EASY.

03. You know the LoveGame video? Where she is naked between two guys? And one has FAME shaved into his head and the other has LOVE shaved into his head? She said they represent love and fame respectively, and SHE represents POP MUSIC stuck between them! What a statement! Eff, that’s fabulous. I’m sure it’s representative of a writer’s ethical struggles.. somehow.

04. Did you notice in every single one of her videos, she is dominating something? DO THAT WITH YOUR WORDS. DOMINATE THE PAGE. idk.

05. How many times has this woman reinvented herself? Like five thousand. And this is just for one album! First she did the body suits and no pants, then the nude body suits and no pants, and then this weird bubble suit with a nude bodysuit underneath and no pants, and then like, this weird teacup thing with these weird skirts and bedazzled underwear, not necessarily in that order. Also, the piano version of Poker Face? PURE GENIUS. Basically, you should constantly evolve as a writer, like Lady Gaga does with her clothes and her songs.

06. Her stage name has a FREDDIE MERCURY CONNECTION. GOD, THAT’S AWESOME. Oh wait, this is supposed to be tied to writing somehow. I revised a lot of Some Girls Are to Lady Gaga and Queen, so. I hear revising makes you a better writer. THAT LADY GAGA. ALWAYS IMPROVING MY GAME.

07. She says things like POP MUSIC IS NEVER LOW BROW. I don’t know about you, but knowing that, I feel better about myself and my life already. I hear feeling good means writing good? God, this woman is awesome.

08. If you make a bow out of your hair you will become a better writer. It’s just a fact.


I used to tell people the best writing advice ever is all Nike Slogan: Just Do It. I am officially changing that slogan now to BE LIKE LADY GAGA. YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON IT. AFTER YOU START BEING LIKE LADY GAGA, EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO PLACE. If you doubt me, I heard that Salinger listened to Lady Gaga a lot when he wrote Catcher in the Rye. Also Mark Twain listened to her when he wrote.

The results speak for themselves, people.

(Lady Gaga has a time machine. SHE DOES EVERYTHING!)