The lovely Danette Haworth, author of one of my fav middlegrade novels, invited me to post about DIY book trailers over at her blog! I detailed the process of making the Cracked Up to Be trailer on a $0 budget and shared some tips and tricks I learned along the way. Check it out here! Please ignore the part where I wrote ‘produce’ when I meant to write ‘product.’ I wrote it last night and I was very hungry then.
So a recent comment on one of my older blog entries led me to discover something interesting. HEY GUYS, LOOK AT THIS:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe being the first result on a search for ‘asymmetrical eyelids’ on google search makes me a leading authority on the subject. I probably know more about it than the people that apparently fix this problem for a living.
But can I say, as much as I sometimes dislike my asymmetrical eyelids and tire of opening my eyes REALLY WIDE for photographs just to even them out, it makes me sad that this is considered a correctible problem. Enjoy the novelty of being able to have two different expressions at once, people! I KNOW I DO.
So is it egotistical when you want to make a photograph of yourself your own desktop background?
Let me explain: when I was teeny, my mom took these three pictures of me JUMPING OFF THE COUCH in quick succession. I often refer to these photographs as, “The last time I was happy.” I don’t know why, since I am generally a content person. Maybe because I like to see my mom roll her eyes when I say it?
Anyway, regardless of whether it’s egotistical or not, these photos make me happy when I look at them, so I scanned them in to make them my desktop (so I could be happy all the time!) and then I decided why not show the interwebs because HEY GUYS, LOOK AT HOW CUTE I WAS:

I KNOW. But you can tell me anyway, jk jk.
Okay, now let’s bring the mood down a little and watch the first official trailer for New Moon together:
Does anyone have any thoughts? Now that I see the book in moving image form, I am really questioning how necessary it was for Edward to push Bella out of the way when pushing Jasper would have sufficed? I mean, I’m glad he did because I don’t think that slow-mo papercut related action sequence would have been complete without Bella flying across the room, but OBJECTIVELY, it is sort of excessive. Anyway, my feelings about this glimpse of the next movie installment in the Twilight Saga can best be expressed with this gif:

ALSO I REALLY HOPE THERE ARE VELOCIRAPTORS IN THIS ONE TOO.

Twilight related gifs & images found on Ohnotheydidnt! ~*~

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publication date
Tuesday June 2nd, 2009 @ 8:41pm
476 words, 24 sentencesmeta stuff
categories: cracked up to be, movies, personal
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That was my second favourite part.
My favourite part was when the Doctor beamed in in the Tardis and beat Edward in a sparkle-off before rejecting Bella as not being cool enough to come in the tardis and then jetted off again.
LULZ! I deleted my fav part from the entry. I was like, “TOO MUCH?” Obv. I should have ~kept it in~. But your favourite part is WAY BETTER. Omggg.
I just want you to know that I am choosing to believe that there really and truly are velociraptors in TWILIGHT. Do not try to tell me otherwise, I shan’t believe you.
P.S. Happy jumpy baby Courtney OMG.
Congratulations on the Googlability of your asymmetrical eyelids!
Violet Raines ROCKS.
ANNIKA, PLEASE DO. And then choose to believe they make a cameo in New Moon. AND THEN WATCH THE SECOND MOVIE WHEN IT COMES OUT!!!! Also, I must be honest and say I think there is only one baby who could out-cute me as I was in that picture. His name starts with an ~S~.
LW: Hee, thank you. And I totally agree! I LOVE that book!!!
You’re right, it is excessive, but I guess maybe he had to push her far away just in case he couldn’t get to Jasper in time? I don’t know, it looks fine to me, but maybe that’s just because I often want to push Bella although I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!
I’ve already given it too much thought.
My biggest disappointment with this trailer is that it leads me to believe that Edward is going to be nice to her when he leaves, rather than tell her he never cared about her and break her heart into smithereens. I rather like that scene. Gives it some bite, if you will. Bite! Vampires!
Sparkle on.
OR. Maybe he just nudged her lightly out of the way? You know how much of a klutz Bella is. I can see her just totally… turning it into a pratfall. Maybe it’s not excessive at all! MAYBE IT IS JUST BELLA! Speaking of excessive, I love how she violently threw the thing that gave her the papercut. I hope it wasn’t a nice gift from her future in-laws! Heh.
YES. He did seem a little too nice about it. I was like come onnn tell her you found someone new who smells nicer Edward, dammit.
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At least you don’t have asymmetrical eyes. One of my eyes is slightly higher than the other. In real life no one really notices, but it shows up in photographs (thank you photoshop). Still, there are tons floating out there I didn’t correct where IT’S ALL I CAN SEE. And since I just pointed it out to you, it’s all you’ll be able to see too. So you’re welcome.
re: New Moon. That violent push is really going to help out those people arguing that Edward is an abusive boyfriend, no?
However, I am really glad the trailer had Bella spell out that she got a paper cut because her wince, holding up her finger to inspect it, and the blood dripping on the floor in super slow-mo wouldn’t have clued me in otherwise.
I AM SO GLAD THAT I AM YOUR WIFE. YOU BRING THE LULZ TO MY LIFE, BB.
~*~
You have read NM, Y?
I just want you to know Courtney —- I HAVE TO OPEN MY EYES REALLY WIDE FOR PHOTOGRAPHS TOO. Only my reason is having inherited TEENY TINY eyes from some Eastern European ancestor who decided to have a fling with an Asian, thus producing first my grandmother, and then ME down the line – the only redheaded child to ever be asked if she is Chinese by elementary school classmates. (-_-)SAY CHEESE(O_O)
Also, that first picture, BB – ~*baby-sparkles*~ !!!!
Please make that first photo your author photo. That is all.
Awww, that is such a sweet series of pictures. In the first one you look like you’re about to fly!
I also have to say I’m really impressed because I had no idea you were the foremost authority on asymmetrical eyelids! You should’ve said something before now. The conversations we’ve been missing out on!
I agree with Anna that Edward was being extra careful in case he couldn’t get to Jasper in time (and you’re probably right that it was a nudge that turned into a pratfall anyway). Without the melodrama of things like over-reactions to papercuts there’s virtually nothing left of Twilight. Well, aside from sparkles, I mean.
ZOMG. This is the best entry ever. Evar. I read it at work and LOL’d and everyone was like, “What?” and I was like, “Oh nothing my friend Courtney is just so, like, hilarious.” And then my heart burst into sparkles and rainbows came pouring out of my eyes.
True. Story.
Ok so I think that Edward pushed Bella that hard because he was honestly afraid that Jacksper was going to eat her. Was it hard, yeah. A little too hard? Maybe. But I ask you, WHAT IS THE PRICE OF SAVING BELLA’S LIFE? Some bruises?
Ok I’m stopping. On that end at least. Seriously though, I think Edward is disgusted by his behavior at the party, INCLUDING his aggression towards Bella, and so he leaves. Because he is afraid of his own power.
I am such a Twilight apologist. Ugh. And not even for the fucking book but the movie. Shameless.
A lot of times I think about Growing Up Cullen and how Edward is this uptight 100-year-old virgin and I lulz.
That velociraptor kills me. KILLS ME.
Also, bb, your couch photos are adorable. “The last time I was happy” ahhhhhhhhhhh I want to be adopted by your family & go live up North with you all & wear glitter.
PLZ.
also I haven’t acknowledged the eyelids. UM THIS WILL OBVIOUSLY BECOME A SPARKLESUPERPOWER
Oh my gosh, you were super cute with your . . . no pants self? Tell me, have you tried that couch trick recently? Because you still could be that happy. I’m just saying.
I have never noticed your eyelids.
And I don’t know anything about Twilight or similar.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Shana: You know who else has asymmetrical eyes? Shannon Doherty and she is gorgeous in my opinion! But we should start a group support club for each other. ASYMMETRICAL EYELIDS/EYES SUPPORT NETWORK. It will be sparkly! — New Moon will cause an outcry about something, I am sure. I loved the slow-mo blood drip. ~drama~
sparkletheorem: LOVE, BB, LOVE.
Emily: I HAVE READ NM. UNLIKE YOU, WHO HASN’T READ UHM, THE FIRST TWO HARRY POTTERS. Wow, that was a really poor segue, isn’t it? Omg, bb. Have you heard of Lady Gaga (!). I am Baby GooGoo. No pants! As Susan pointed out in a later comment.
A: Hee!
C.K.: I did fly, I promise. It was one of my many youthful talents. ;) And you’re right! I cannot believe it hasn’t come up in our emails? We have much to discuss. And… you’re so right. As much as I love the book, sparkles can’t be sustained without melodrama!!
whitney: HAH! ~*sparklehearts*~, my sparklewife. I love it when we make rainbows pour out of each other’s eyes. And AHAHA. YOU ARE SO RIGHT, BB. WHATEVER WAS I THINKING. Bella’s bruises are worth her saved life so that they might go onto share a love so pure and true! Bb, you are welcome up north ANY TIME. As long as you bring the glittah. Which we know you will. And if not we have some here so no worries. AND OMG YES A SPARKLESUPERPOWER!
Sandmore: I am Baby GooGoo! Also your comments make me lulz. In the best way. You rock.
Oh my, Hallam would totally love to play with that baby. I try to explain the concept of time etc but, no, he wants to play with that baby. Cos she is clearly very cool.
:)
Apparently Twilight is some novel book film thing? It is seeping into my life in book shops but actually I know NOTHING about it. Is that bad? Should I?
Aww, hee. Would my past self be cool enough to hang with HALLAM though?
And also!! YOU MUST READ IT. GO FORTH AND FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS SPARKLY VAMPIRES.