My mother and my sister were doing I don’t know what, but the point is they found a fan letter I wrote to the Backstreet Boys–or ‘The BSB’ as us diehards liked to call them–when I was 11-years-old hidden in an old typewriter at my grandmother’s house! Envelope and all!
What great blog entry fodder, I thought, for someone who has spent the last week writing in their sparkly pink housecoat and not brushing their hair!
So those who have been reading this blog for a while know of my fan history with the Backstreet Boys on account of my blogging about it once before. Not only did I firmly believe the BSB would outlast the hell out of N*SYNC (I still don’t understand how it all went wrong), I also went to great lengths to teach myself the As Long As You Love Me Chair Dance and I was freaking AWESOME at it if I do say so myself, even though I can’t do it anymore because my joints aren’t what they used to be get off my lawn. Brian was my favourite. That’s What She Said.
Anyway, this letter was trip down memory lane, sigh.
LOOK at that. Work of art. I totally forgot I used to like to draw that peace sign on everything back in the day. My school books, my desk. Envelopes addressed to the Backstreet Boys. I was a damn hippie child, I guess. You will note that I blurred out the whole letter because I sort of feel mildly guilty for making a mockery of the girl I used to be.
Making fun of BSB fans is like shooting fish in a barrel.
I bet you guys could use this fan letter as a model for all fan letters. First I open with an introduction, and then I go on to say that I am a big fan of theirs but NOT their #1 fan. I said I WISHED I was their #1 fan, but I had met girls who would go to any lengths to touch their hand and I’d be scared to (you know what? This remains true after all these years!). But then I added that I did consider myself a PRETTY BIG fan. I thought I was being coyly self-deprecating. Probably I’d heard Backstreet Boys ate that stuff up. Because I was a PRETTY BIG fan and knew these things.
But not their #1 fan.
BUT, even though I was a pretty big fan, I wanted them to know it was “before I discovered what majorly hunky good-looking guys” they were and thought they “ought to know it was music before looks!!” Really, this part of the letter served two purposes: to show that I was different from all those other hand-touching whores and let them know in as few words as possible, how I could see into their pop star souls, or something. That I wasn’t SHALLOW.
But if I am being completely honest, when I said they were hunks I just meant Brian. I don’t know WTF I was supposed to make of the other members of the group. Nick had a BOWL CUT, you guys. Bowl cuts are never cool. Not even when you are an 11-year-old fangirl.
I then went on to tell them that I ordered their CD from BMG and was eagerly awaiting it in the mail. I did this so they would know I was funding their celebrity lifestyles. I used this to segue into an autographed photo request because how could they turn me down when I made them what they are today?
SEALED WITH A KISS Y’ALL.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a stamp.