First, many thanks to everyone who entered my Dani Noir contest! Not only am I thrilled at the number of people who are interested in this fab fab fab book, all of your answers were winningly Rita-esque. So winningly Rita-esque, in fact, I’m thrilled I didn’t have to judge them and pick an actual winner. Too hard!
So after I stripped the answers of all identifiers, I emailed them to my mom and asked her to pick her favourite. She spent a good amount of time poring over them and chose…
Khy’s answer! And what would Rita Hayworth do, according to Khy?
Just dance.
I KNOW. Immediately after declaring Khy the winner, my mom and I had this exchange:
Her: As soon as I saw [Khy's answer], the song popped into my head!
Me: BECAUSE YOU LOVE LADY GAGA. *thrilled squeal*
Her: I never said that and I will deny it. Who’s Lady Gaga?
She killed an angel when she said that, I am certain of it. :(
Anyway, with Mom’s winner selected, I plugged all of the entrants into a random number generator, held my breath and the winner of the random draw is…
Congratulations, Khy and Dia! I hope you both love the book as much as I do! Thanks again to all those who entered, and for your wonderful and inventive answers! I wish I could’ve given EVERYONE a copy. Dani Noir is just that terrific.
In other, semi-related news, my Lady Gaga glasses came in the mail last week! If you follow my Twitter, this is not really news to you. If you’ve added me on Facebook, this is also not really news to you. If you follow my Twitter and added me on Facebook you can even SEE ME IN THE SUNGLASSES but reposting that picture here seems excessive somehow. I will just say I love knowing that when I am wearing my Lady Gaga glasses I never have to look anyone directly in the eye.
That’s a liberating feeling.
By the way, did I tell you I scrapped all 100 pages of my new novel? Aye, I did. It just goes to show you no matter how much you prepare sometimes your novel will tell you to go STRAIGHT TO HELL TO RETHINK IT. I’m cool with that, though. Now I’m 14 pages into this new thing and I like it a whole lot better. I think it will be a good book. Or maybe it won’t. Because every time I say something about writing, it turns out to be a lie!
I guess I will just have to write it and see.
You know what makes it hard to write it and see?
Lamebook. My good friend Lori introduced me to Lamebook. I don’t know whether to thank her or shake my fist at her for this, but either way, Lamebook is my new favourite thing on the internet. Probably I am the last person in the world to be introduced to it.
But just in case I’m not: what is Lamebook? Lamebook is “The Lamest and Funniest of Facebook.” I love it. It is hilarious and disturbing. It is also a great etiquette guide for Facebook. As in: don’t be like the Facebook users featured on this page.
Anyway, here is one of my favourite submissions:

image from Lamebook
Bwahahahaha.
That’s awful.
Anyways, have you opened it up yet? You have? Good! Now we can all look at Lamebook for hours when we should be doing more important things for the rest of the day TOGETHER!
YAY.

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publication date
Monday July 13th, 2009 @ 3:43pm
593 words, 59 sentencesmeta stuff
categories: fall for anything,teh internets,writing
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i had no idea what lamebook was until about 30 seconds ago reading this blog so you are not alone.
your mom doesn’t know who Lady GaGa is?
poor thing. :(
She just likes to pretend she doesn’t. But I’ve made sure she knows! :)
…Lamebook is GOLD! Love it. What a great way to procrastinate some more!
haha…I’ve never heard of Lamebook before! I’m checking it out.
And I’ve had to do that with novels before too…I mean, I’m not published, but I’m working on that….sometimes novels need to be scraped in order to turn into something good. I bet yours really will be awesome, though. I LOVED your last book.
I peeked at the Twitter pic and the glasses rock.
Since you and Robby found out about Lamebook ahead of me I think that officially makes *me* the last person to find out about it. And that glance reminds me why I torched my Facebook account down to the ground ;-) Instant and twenty-four access to a world of lameness was making me feel swine flu-ish and cranky.
I personally think novels love nothing more than telling us to go straight to hell. They’re just evil that way. But it sounds like you’re off to a fantastic brand new start so I guess the best thing to do is celebrate their evilness and, yeah, just dance.
Congrat, Khy and Dia!
“I will just say I love knowing that when I am wearing my Lady Gaga glasses I never have to look anyone directly in the eye.”
THIS is what sunglasses were made for, bb! Also, thank you for keeping me up on the Lamebook internets. I srsly don’t know what I’d do w/o you in my life to tell me about this important stuff. Now I need to go look for myself there…
:D :D ~*~ :D :D
YAY!
Thank you to everyone who entered! Thank you, Courtney! And THANK YOU, COURTNEY’S MOM!
I’m thrilled! And now… I want some sunglasses.
Jessica: SERIOUSLY! I laughed so hard reading some of them. And was very disturbed by others!
Helen: Lamebook is really great for a chuckle. And thank you SO much! I’m so thrilled you enjoyed CUTB. & I wish you all the best with your writing. It can be so tough sometimes!
C.K.: Eee, thank you. And Lamebook is a really good reminder about what you’re getting into on FB, heh. I’m afraid of one day showing up on there. I’m hoping this novel sees itself to completion! It’s not easy, but I think it will be worth it… (I guess I’ll find out)!
Emily: IMAGINE US WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN SUNNIES, NEVER LOOKING ANYONE IN THE EYE. Ah, magic. ~*~
Nova: Thank YOU for writing such an awesome book. My mom says she was happy to participate!! :D Now get yerself some sunglasses! You’ve earned them!!