Your Favourite Scary Movie(s)!

courtneyfyi, movies

Recently, on The Twitter (as this octagonarian likes to call it), The Emily (as this octogenarian likes to call her) was asking around for SCARY movie suggestions because it is getting to be that time of year again. You know. OCTOBER.

I guess October is a pretty good month for watching horror movies. Why is this, I wonder? Please note: that’s a joke. I thought I should clarify because some people still occassionally ask me if I was really serious when I publicly declared Salinger listened to Lady Gaga a lot when he wrote Catcher in the Rye, which he totally did, but anyway.

I love watching horror movies year round, but I must admit THE NEED gets greater when the weather starts to change. I inevitably find myself buying scary movies recklessly and feeling no buyer’s remorse later even though I really should (my last purchase was Voices about uhm, an hour ago and I hope it is good).

Anyway, I threw some suggestions Emily’s way and then I shook my fist at her because I decided I wanted to write a blog post about the horror movies I think people need to watch in October or really any month and here we are! This said, does anyone have any absolute horror (or horrorish) movies they think MUST be watched in the upcoming grand month that is October? PLEASE put them in the comments! I want to hear them! Unless they are torture pr0n (ie Saw et al), in which case forget it. I really do not like torture pr0n at all.

Here are mine, in no particular order:


ONE MISSED CALLED

This was my first J-horror! So It has a very special place in my heart. It’s about people who get a phone call from themselves in the future at the moment of their death. And involves a vengeful spirit. This movie really creeped me out. It took me over a month to finish it for some reason. Probably because it really creeped me out! The hospital scene is terrifying and I remember feeling like I could not trust one corner of the screen. And I was right! Avoid the remake.




JU-ON: THE GRUDGE

I think this was my second J-horror? It’s about a haunted house full of vengeful spirits (I love vengeful spirits!) and an inescapable curse, told in a compelling, non-linear fashion. This movie scares me every single time I watch it and I watch it a lot. The first five times I watched it, I kept noticing things I hadn’t upon initial viewing. Scary things! Either I am really unobservant (possibly) or this movie is a work of SUBTLE GENIUS (definitely). I love it. Very high on my scary list. Avoid the remake.




SHUTTER

The first time I saw Shutter, I watched it with one hand over my eyes and one hand over my mouth. It’s about a photographer, his girlfriend and a REALLY SCARY VENGEFUL SPIRIT that turns up in his photos but whatever, that’s what you get when you shoot with a Canon (Nikon: Ghost Free Since 1917). I still watch it through my fingers. The scene in the hotel room is the bestest thing ever and there is one moment that gets me every time, provided I have the nerve to watch it. This is also very, very high on my personal scary list. As always, avoid the remake. Even if it DOES star Pacey Witter. Trust me.




THE CHANGELING

It’s my personal belief that The Changeling is one of the best and scariest–if not thebest and scariest–ghost stories out there. The seance scene is a work of art. Also: GEORGE C. MOTHERFN SCOTT is in it. I am not going to say anymore than that. Except 95% of my viewings of this movie take place in the day because watching it at night is sometimes more than I can bear. Also: creepiest ghost voice ever. Seriously, if you watch any movie on this list, MAKE IT THIS ONE. THIS ONE I TELL YOU.




THE CITY OF THE DEAD aka HORROR HOTEL

My copy is called Horror Hotel. Okay, this movie is not scary per se, but it’s WONDERFUL! It’s about a college student who is writing a paper on witches and she goes to this old witch town and there are witches there and BAM! WITCHES! I tend to think of these movies as like, feel good horror. You watch them with a big bowl of popcorn and a comfy blanket wrapped around your shoulders and enjoy.




BLACK CHRISTMAS

I love this movie with my whole heart. I can’t stop buying new editions of it every time they come out. It is about a psychokiller who kills a group of sorority girls on Christmas Eve, but it is also so much more than that. I think Black Christmas is pretty unnerving and the ending is PERFECT and I first saw it when I was like, thirteen and what a great memory of my youth! Also, the tagline is: IF THIS MOVIE DOESN’T MAKE YOUR SKIN CRAWL, IT’S ON TOO TIGHT! Where can you go wrong? Exactly. You can’t. Also: AVOID. The remake.




DEAD MEAT

What a great, great, great perfectly low-budget Irish zombie movie. When I first saw it, it vaguely put me in mind of Night in the Living Dead. It veers more into campy territory, but the production values are similar and I guess that over-riding feeling of isolation and trying to make it work is too. Now, this is not a direct comparison–nothingbeats Night of the Living Dead!–but I found Dead Meat pretty dang satisfying for a (kinda) zombie movie. Objectively, I am not sure it’s good, but personally, I liked it a whole lot.




NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

I don’t think there will ever be a zombie movie that is better than this one. I saw Night of the Living Dead in my early teens and I wanted to curl up in a ball and give up on everything, it bothered me so much. I felt like I had survived something but there was no point; it was so grim and senseless and exhausting. Those quickly became the same reasons I would love the movie and turn into a big zombie fanatic. The sheer poetry of survival! It’s all here in this movie, which is always brilliant and always scary. And because it fell into the public domain, you can watch it here.




28 DAYS LATER

The opening of this movie is basically a good argument for why PETA will cause the end of the world. It’s about a rage virus that turns you into like, a rage zombie in less than a minute (again, entirely thanks to a PETA (like) organization tsk tsk). And a guy that wakes up from a coma 28 days after it has spread all over England. 28 Days Later is so fantastic and bleak and hopeful and TENSE. This movie gave me a stomachache the first time I watched it, I found the idea so distressing. And I dreaded every scene that took place at night. Aaah, dread. Delicious dread.




THE MAD

This is a zombie comedy starring BILLY ZANE. It is hysterical and campy and fabulous. BILLY ZANE (his name should always be capitalized just because) plays this former rocker turned uptight doctor, who is on a road trip with his new girlfriend, angry daughter and his angry daughter’s idiotic boyfriend. When they make a stop in a small town… ZOMBIES abound! And absolute hystericalness. Hystericalness that involves a raw beef patty that attacks people. Yes, A RAW BEEF PATTY THAT ATTACKS PEOPE (see above).




THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

I judge people who don’t like this movie now that it’s all cool not to like. I judge them HARSHLY. Because The Blair Witch Project is amazing, dammit. AMAZING, DAMMIT. I love the way it exploded onto the scene and I love that it holds up as a good movie even now. I mean, how horrible would it be to be lost in the woods with this possible evil witch stalking you? Horrible. Every time I watch this movie I have a complete understanding of how horrible it would be. And I’m impressed. Rock on, Blair Witch. Rock on. Haters to the left.






And finally, if I could encourage you to watch any movie in the month of October to ring in Halloween… ANY MOVIE. Of ALL THE MOVIES IN THE WORLD. BESIDES THE CHANGELING. It would be…


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HOCUS POCUS

That’s freaking right. It ain’t the time of the season until you’ve watched this movie at least ONCE. And if you haven’t, you miss out. YOU DO YOURSELF AN INJUSTICE. Hocus-freaking-Pocus. Bette Midler. Kathy Najimy. Sarah Jessica Parker (okay, not so much Sarah Jessica Parker). Witches who are accidentally resurrected on Halloween night by OMRI KATZ and THORA BIRCH. An immortal cat. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. IS PERFECT. If you don’t watch it in October, then, I don’t know. You should be ashamed. ASHAMED! Because being a fierce witch STARTS with these witches and don’t you forget it.






And that is my (nowhere near complete) list. So what would be on yours? Lay ’em on me!



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