THIS IS NOT A TEST is available on Netgalley! Right here! This means if you’re a professional reader (which Netgalley defines as book reviewers, journalists, librarians, professors, booksellers and bloggers), you can request it and maybe you’ll get approved to read it six months before its official publication date in exchange for a review! So you should request it! I would love it if you did. It’s the first book I have ever had on Netgalley and I want it to feel invited to the prom.
Like I never was.
Sob. :(
(Of course, I left high school before prom but whatevs. Did I tug at your heartstrings enough to get you to request my book? Mission Accomplished!)
I was not expecting to see my zombie book online so fast. I hope the galley’s availability means I will be able to share other things with you in the near future (like an excerpt or some of the exciting blurbs it has gotten–one of which you can see on the Netgalley catalogue page from the wonderful Daisy Whitney–she called it “sexy and desolate!”), but in the mean time I thought I’d share a few things about and relating to the novel because why not.
LET’S DO THIS.
01) I saw my first zombie movie when I was twelvish, I think! Or elevenish! Or thirteenish! I don’t even remember. One of those ages, at least. It was George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead and it was one of the scariest things I’d ever seen. It still is. It is an utterly relenteless glimpse at a group of people trying to stay alive while an endless wave of zombie attacks the farmhouse they’ve barricaded themselves in. I spent the entirety of that movie with my gut twisting itself into knots, foolishly believing these characters were just suffering for a happy ending. Ha ha ha! After I saw it, I was so depressed, I swore off zombie movies and bleak endings forever.
02) Needless to say, I am a VERY different person now.
03) I have a zombie plan but I will not share it with anyone outside of my immediate family. It’s pretty great, though. Whenever I imagine surviving the zombie apocalypse, I am surrounded by my family and we are having THE TIME OF OUR LIVES. One day, I started thinking–what if I wasn’t surrounded by people I loved? And what happens if the people I love get turned into zombies? WHAT IF THERE IS NO ONE? WHAT IF I HAVE TO NAVIGATE A POST-APOCALYPTIC ZOMBIE WASTELAND ON MY OWN? And then I realized I probably wouldn’t want to live unless I could redefine the point of my own survival. But what if you can’t? What if you really cannot do that? (I am not sure I could!)
04) Then I thought about how a lot of the zombie movies I watch and enjoy follow the character that is willing to do everything to make it to the end. Whether or not they are better for it remains to be seen, but survival is hardwired into them and usually they make good choices and are nice people. That is noble, I suppose. And then I thought about it some more… I bet you can see where this is going!
05) THIS IS NOT A TEST is about a girl who wants to die during the zombie apocalypse but gets tangled up in other people’s survival plans!
06) If anything, it is about emotional survival.
07) It is also about six teenagers trapped in a high school during the zombie apocalypse! CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE THE HIJINX.
08) Unlike Regina or Parker, who would probably chainsaw every zombie they saw to pieces, Sloane Price, the main character of THIS IS NOT A TEST, would rather be eaten by them! And that is what you need to know about her. You will never meet a person more determined to give up and exploring the way someone like that engages with the world and how they respect–or don’t respect–other people’s want to live was so interesting! It was also challenging. I am not sure if you will like this girl, to be honest! But if you have read my other books, likeable characters are not my favourite to write about ANYWAY.
09) It’s very much a character driven novel! I have been so happy to get such an enthused response to my zombie direction, but I know there are some people out there who are not as keen on it because they prefer my contemporary realism and they’ll wait for the next story. I totally get that and respect it. But for my contemporary realism readers who are undecided, I think it’s worth noting this is a novel about people with some zombies!
10) But also there are zombies!
11) I do not know if I will ever return to zombies in fiction but if I don’t, I am glad this is the zombie novel I wrote.
If it sounds like your kind of thing, please request it! If you think someone you know would be interested in it, please tell them about it! I am always grateful to people who spread the word about my work. Thank you!
THEY’RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA.
2011 was weird and painful. There is not a whole lot I want to say about it right now.
Today first pass pages for THIS IS NOT A TEST arrived at my door. I went through and made my corrections, which is the last part of the process for me as an author. Next come ARCs, publication….
For my last post of the year, I want to share with you its dedication:
Love in the new year.
It is time for my annual horror movie recs post! I usually like to get these out sooner so you have time to adequately prepare yourself for the holiday, but given everything that has been going on, it was just not possible. I would once again like to extend my thanks to all those who have sent such lovely and supportive notes to me and my family during this time. It means a lot to us.
So, in case you are not aware, every year since 2009, I like to make a post about horror movies you should watch. FOR HALLOWEEN! Lots of people don’t like Halloween but I LOVE it. 2009′s post is here and 2010′s post is here. I still stand by those recommendations so if you’re looking for some good movies, you should check those out.
Here are more suggestions for 2011!
This horror comedy is a delightful treat! It’s about a journalist, Taylor, who is making a documentary about Leslie Vernon, who is poising himself to be the next big psycho killer on the block. As Leslie plans to brutally slay a group of teens on the anniversary of his “death” he takes Taylor through the preperatory process, leading up to the night of murder mayhem itself–where everything is not as it initially seemed. This movie is a blast; tame enough for those who have a low(er) threshold for slasher flicks but enertaining enough for people who know the genre inside and out (lots of winking and nodding). It was a TINY bit over-long and the ending wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be, but I had such a good time getting there, I’m okay with that.
Eskalofrío (aka Shiver)
Eskalofrío’s mood captured me first. Storyline second. It’s all overcast and rainy and ugh, I love that. I like this one a whole lot! It’s a Spanish horror film about a boy who is allergic to the sun. He and his mother move to this quiet village in the mountains and something lives in the woods and is killing people! And the boy who is allergic to sun gets a lot of flack for that because having gruesome murders suddenly start happening directly after you move to a place just never seems to work out in the newcomer’s favour, especially since the attacks are vaguely vampiric in nature. I was not wholly satisfied with the ending but this is the kind of horror movie you watch with a blanket around your shoulders and a bowl of caramel popcorn in your lap and a mug of apple cider at your side and that is good enough for me. Also I find myself really drawn to stories about struggling outsiders and this movie is all about that! WEIRD. Maybe I should write some YAs about such a topic.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
I went through a really brief phase where I was interested in possession earlier this year. It was an odd time. So I got The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I was not expecting anything from this movie at all honestly. When I started watching it, I saw Colm Feore was in it and I thought his sexy face was as good as it was going to get. But I was wrong! It got even better than that! This movie surprised me. It might be one of the movies I liked most this year. I would go so far as to call it almost a gem. It’s about a girl who is killed during an exorcism and the priest involved is on trial for murder. The story largely follows the lawyer representing him and Emily herself (through flashbacks) as they go over what happened and whether or not Emily was, in fact, possessed by evil. There are a couple of missteps but I found the movie nicely emotional overall. Also, the way Jennifer Carpenter contorts her body is incredibly disturbing and maybe the scariest thing of all. There’s something really realistic and understated about her possession and the flashbacks were my favourite parts. It’s not knock-your-socks off horror, I guess, but it is good quality and satisfying! Also: Colm Feore.
The Eye (2002)
I mentioned The Eye (and another pick on this list!) briefly in one of my older horror movie posts. It’s about a blind violinist who gets an eye cornea transplant and then can see again! But it seems the original corneas have enabled her to see people’s deaths and also ghosts. Perhaps you can tell where this is going. Ghostly ominous hijinx ensue! This is such a fantastic horror movie. I really love it. The scares aren’t overwhelmingly in your face but there is a scene in an elevator that gives me many chills. More than the scares, it’s the sad premise that appeals me. Getting something you’ve wanted so long and then having it turn out NOT being what you want it to be–but how can you back from that? Especially when that thing is your SIGHT? Tragically sad. This also has one of the most sympathetic lead characters ever.
Resident Evil (film series)
Yeah, I know. I hated Resident Evil when it came out. I HATED IT SO MUCH. The opening scene with the elevator really upset me and now I always have that moment of wondering whether or not an elevator operated by an evil computer is going to decapitate me whenever I step into one. But earlier this year the first installment wiggled its way into my heart and then suddenly I had to buy them all and then suddenly they were constantly playing in the background over and over again while I wrote This is Not a Test. You know how there are always those really bad movies that come on TV and you have to watch them because they are such brain candy, like Deep Blue Sea and The Devil’s Advocate? The Resident Evil series is that for me. The world, the zombies, the mutations (I used to hate mutated zombies but Left 4 Dead changed all that for me!), the bad accents, the action–Milla Jovovich kicking ass in the most amazing outfits? I am SO there! My favourite is the second installment (Apocalypse), which feels more like a horror movie to me. The fourth (Afterlife) seems to veer completely into action/adventure land but I think it is my second favourite because the fighting sequences are so GREAT.
Tremors (1990)
It seems remiss not to mention the first “scary” movie I ever saw in this post. It was this one when I was five. It is about giant worms under the ground that eat people. When I was five, I was not fully able to appreciate the snappy dialogue/chemistry between Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. All I could think about was GIANT WORMS UNDER THE GROUND THAT EAT PEOPLE. The first time I watched it, I think I spent every night for the next five months screaming and crying and not sleeping because I was afraid “the tremors would get me.” My mom tried to explain to me that they did not exist and when that didn’t work that they certainly could not make their way up the stairs. Then my sister pointed out those weird spikes on their sides and told me they totally could, extending my sleep terrors for another five months. Everyone learned something about themselves during that time. Anyways, this movie is so great! It plays on classic monster movie tropes. An isolated town, slack-jawed locals, the scientist who can explain nearly everything and GIANT WORMS UNDER THE GROUND THAT EAT PEOPLE. This is a great scary movie for people who can’t handle scary movies, unless they are five.
fin
Here are some movies that I am going to be watching in the upcoming week, in celebration of Halloween. I was hoping to see them all before now and if they were good, include them on the list! But I am having a hard time focusing on stuff for more than thirty minutes at a time right now. Have you seen these? I hope they’re good!
If you want more horror movie recommendations you should check out Joey Comeau’s blog, Into Survival which includes reviews, commentary and horror movie deconstruction (I liked his vs. post on Shutter and its American remake here). Also when I was just starting to get into J-horror, I stumbled upon Rodger Swan’s J-horror movie reviews vlog on YouTube. If you are interested in J-horror (which was a total horror movie gateway for me!) maybe you would find it helpful.
And if you have never heard of Marble Hornets, you should totally check it out! MarbleHornets is an ARG and it is amazingly scary and fun. It’s, well–I am going to borrow the summary from its TV Tropes page because it gives the gist better than I can:
“Marble Hornets is an Alternate Reality Game (more like an Alternate Reality Movie), following discoveries made while looking through raw footage of a trite student film. In 2006, film student Alex Kralie suddenly abandons his movie in the midst of production [...] Alex’s friend Jay rescues the taped material and [...] by digging it up again he may have reawakened sinister forces. Jay’s YouTube account chronicles material from the tapes and, increasingly, the bizarre and frightening events of his own life . A Twitter page was added some time later. Since Entry #9, he’s noted a guy named ‘totheark‘ responding to each entry, adding a whole new level to the scary.”
I used to watch these at night time and they would creep me out SO BAD! I used to not want to leave my room after I watched them. So now I only watch them in the day. If you don’t know who Slender Man is, you should find out. Start with the intro:
And thus concludes my scary movies for Halloween 2011 post!
If you’re interested, I also blogged about the first scary book I ever read over at author Nova Ren Suma’s blog as part of a “What Scares You?” guest blog extravaganza! You can read my post here. If you comment on it and all of the guest posts, you will have the opportunity to win an amazing prize pack of books, so you should check it out.
YAY TERROR.
What scary movies OR books will you be watching or reading this Halloween?
I am hijacking Courtney’s blog today to pay a small tribute to the love of my life, David Summers, who was taken from us a week ago today. Courtney’s tribute to her father captured him quite perfectly with no room for improvement. But during a time of endings I would like to share a beginning…
My father-in-law gets the credit for bringing David & I together shortly after the family’s move to a farm just outside of town.
“There’s a cute girl working at the local Becker’s store, why don’t you ask her out?” he suggested to his son.
And in what was likely one of the few times David embraced parental authority he did just that, appearing during my shift, wearing a plaid shirt, dirty jeans and an uncharacteristically short haircut.
It wasn’t love at first sight. But he was persistent, a trait I would become familiar with over the years.
He showed up every day to offer me a ride home from my shift. Every day I declined.
He drove into town on his tractor. He even rode the five miles in on his horse.
Still I did not relent.
Then one day he showed up at my door. I never told him where I lived but he searched the phone book for everyone with my surname and through the process of elimination he hit the jackpot.
He came armed with his guitar and proceeded to serenade me in our gazebo …much to my parents’ alarm.
We sat by the shore of the lake and talked into the wee hours of the morning …much to my parents’ alarm.
I never once looked back.
We viewed life in pretty much the same way, just from completely different angles. We made each other laugh, got under each other’s skin and everything in between. The bond between us was stretched at times, but never broken.
The phrase ‘soul mates’ makes me cringe, but we were definitely that. My heart always skipped a beat whenever I saw him. We would have celebrated our 34th anniversary this month, and 35 years of knowing each other. I am fortunate to have had that time, but I can’t help but feel cheated.
“Ideas are clean. They soar in the serene supernal. I can take them out and look at them, they fit in books, they lead me down that narrow way. And in the morning they are there. Ideas are straight–
But the world is round, and a messy mortal is my friend.
Come walk with me in the mud…” *
* Hugh Prather, Notes to Myself
Yesterday, people gathered at my grandmother’s house to celebrate my dad’s life.
My dad would have been so touched to see the faces that came out to pay their respects. His brothers. Friends he lost contact with but always thought the world of. Friends and faculty from school, who were such a large part of his world these last two years and who made the whole experience that much more rewarding. Family who drove from so far away because they couldn’t imagine not being there to say goodbye and thank you to Dave. We’ve gotten phone calls and cards and flowers from so many different people who were so shocked to hear he’d died but grateful they got the opportunity to know him. He honestly would not have believed the level of love he inspired–he really underestimated his impact–but he would have been so incredibly touched by it all. I know we were.
This was my father. I’m sorry for everyone who has lost him but after yesterday, I’m sad for everyone who won’t get to know him too.
I wanted to post this entry to thank everyone who has contacted me–be it here, my email, through comments on Facebook, replies on Twitter, private messages on both, places the blog entry fed into, sent flowers, cards… friends and readers and kind strangers… you’ve offered condolences and support, warm thoughts, prayers, some of you even shared stories of your own loss and shown understanding. My family read every last message. Every last one.
I don’t think anything about this can be made easier–now that the flurry is over, we are all bracing ourselves for what’s next–but I do want to tell you that your reaching out meant the world to us and it has made a difference. ‘Thank you’ doesn’t even really seem to cut it in return, honestly, but it’s all I’ve got. And I really mean it.
Thank you so much.
My dad died today.
When he was 54, he decided to go back to school to be an environmental technician. It must have been hard going back to college, learning alongside young(er) students at an age in life when people probably assume you’ve got one eye toward retirement, but he did it. He wanted to be an environmental technician, so he put his nose to the grindstone for two years and graduated this last June. He graduated with honours and on the Dean’s List because it was not enough for him to go and do the minimum required, he wanted to do his absolute best and he did. It was such a big, big moment in his life and he was so proud of himself.
We were so proud of him.
He was no stranger to hard work. He loved to farm. There was little more gratifying to him than tilling soil, planting vegetables. Looking after the earth. The (rare) times he could coerce me into maaaybee doing some dirty work, he could not contain his glee. And those (rare) times I did, he often liked to pause afterward and express how happy he was with what was done, what I had contributed, and how great the work we did looked and didn’t it look great? When it was my turn to comment, I’d usually just show him the new blister I got which was totally his fault. He laughed and teased. He liked to tease. He did it often, with great affection. We teased him back just the same.
He was a man of action. He genuinely wanted things to be better where they could be better and he took up causes–good ones, lost ones–and gave his all to them, for better or worse and never for want of praise and glory. I think, I will always think, for the rest of my life, he should have been appreciated so much more for what he gave.
He was passionate about the environment, about politics and world affairs. He loved to argue. He loved to present one side of an argument and wear you down until you saw his point, and then as soon as you’d conceded, he’d switch sides. There was always, “just one more thing,” to say when my father was at the head of the table discussing the topic of the day. No one thrived on these debates more than he and my papa (his father-in-law) did, I think. I hope they’re getting caught up right now. I really do. And I hope he’s with his father now, who passed away in 2003, and who he also missed so much and was devastated to lose.
He was a big reader. He loved crime dramas and bad sitcoms. He grudgingly let my sister indulge in Jeopardy at the dinner table. My dad was crazy for the arts. Passionate about theatre. One of the best moments of his life was bringing Man of la Mancha to the local stage. We still have a tape of it. I was eight or nine when I saw that play and it made me want to climb onstage and be an actor because I wanted to move people the way that I had been moved. I thought my dad was a genius to bring that world alive in our tiny town and make me believe in it, that his vision and interpretation of that musical could bring me to tears. I wanted to inspire them that way, make them laugh, make them cry. I hate musicals but I will always love that one. Later, I wanted to direct, like he did (my directorial debut was in the fifth grade, a murder mystery I also wrote and starred in cough) and then I wanted to write for the screen and eventually, it became books. I think the want to be a storyteller–and that is the one thing in my life that has remained consistent, that has inspired many of my choices–took root when I was sitting in the audience, watching Don Quixote rise from his death bed…
DON QUIXOTE: But this is not seemly, my lady. On thy knees, to me?
DULCINEA: My lord, you’re not well!
DON QUIXOTE: Not well? What is illness to the body of a knight errant? What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise and woe to the wicked! Sancho!
SANCHO PANZA: Here, your grace!
DON QUIXOTE: My armour, my sword!
SANCHO PANZA: More misadventures!
DON QUIXOTE: Adventures, old friend!
Thank you for inspiring me, Dad.
This is so difficult.
He loved my mom. LOVED. Loved her.
He loved his family. His wife, his daughters, his mother and father, his mother and father-in-law, his son-in-law, his brothers. He loved his friends. He loved.
He was loved.
We found out he was sick at the beginning of September–cancer–and things progressed faster than we imagined. Hope was meted out to us sparingly, dashed as quickly as it was offered. My father, the kind of person who always had to be doing something, always had to be doing something for someone, my father the fighter, never got the opportunity to fight.
It was one of the last things he said.
“I just want to fight.”
He resisted until the end. They weren’t his terms and he held on until he couldn’t hold on anymore. Those last hours, minutes, seconds…
Those were difficult too.
The heart has been ripped right out of this family.
Everything is less interesting now, a little more meaningless, without him here. There’s nothing beautiful about it, nothing in this loss that will ever make it worthwhile. It is so unfair. He should be here.
56 years old.
He did a lot of what he wanted, which is something nice to think about–or will become nice to think about one day, I hope–considering how short his time on earth turned out to be. He wanted to fly, so he flew. He travelled. He ran a lapidary business. He reinvented himself several times over the course of his life and each time, it was impossible not to see a man who was striving to be his best self and getting a little closer to it each time. He was a thoughtful a person, a complicated person. No one could frustrate me quite like he did and there was no one I wanted to impress more. I loved him. He was a good, good man. He was good man and he worked hard and I’m sitting here typing this, thinking, why didn’t we all say it more? He deserved to hear it as much as possible.
You worked hard and you earned every breath.
But you deserved so many more.
Love you so much.
Miss you already, more than there are words for.
First, I’m so thrilled about the positive response THIS IS NOT A TEST has gotten since I announced it. Thank you, everyone! That was so nice. It was nervewracking revealing that it is a zombie book considering I am such a loud mouth about zombies. Anyways, in the announcement I said I was going to blog about why zombies and how much they mean to me because I will exploit any opportunity to talk about zombies and now I have a reason just outside of the usual passion that motivates me to do so but this is not that entry!
Would you believe this entry is actually a cover reveal?
(Maybe the title of this entry gave that away but pretend to be shocked!)
BUT before you look I have to give a nod to the folks at St. Martin’s Press who worked so hard to put this together. Particularly my editor, Sara and the cover designer, Lisa. I saw SEVEN covers before this one. Seven! That is the most covers any of my books have ever gotten. There was a point in July where I got like five of those covers in ONE week which was so exciting actually. I love covers. I want all the covers! But anyways, add to the fact that I got to give A LOT of input on this–and I mean A LOT–well. It has been A Process…
But I think it was totally worth it.
I hope you do too.
Isn’t it great?! Do you like it? It’s blue! My covers are makin’ up a rainbow here. We’ve had green, red, yellow and now blue. WHAT COULD BE NEXT? ALSO LOOK AT THAT GIRL! Is she Sloane or is she a zombie? The cruel way I treat most of my characters means it could go EITHER way!
Here’s the plot, one more time:
It’s the end of the world. Six students have taken cover in Cortege High but shelter is little comfort when the dead outside won’t stop pounding on the doors. One bite is all it takes to kill a person and bring them back as a monstrous version of their former self. To Sloane Price, that doesn’t sound so bad. Six months ago, her world collapsed and since then, she’s failed to find a reason to keep going. Now seems like the perfect time to give up.
As Sloane eagerly waits for the barricades to fall, she’s forced to witness the apocalypse through the eyes of five people who actually want to live. But as the days crawl by, everyone’s motivations to survive begin to change in startling ways and soon the group’s fate is determined less and less by what’s happening outside and more and more by the unpredictable and violent bids for life–and death–inside.
When everything is gone, what do you hold on to?
If the cover moves you to Tweet or Facebook or add it to your GoodReads To-Read list or spread the word in any capacity, I would be so thrilled and grateful because it makes a difference! And this is also a great opportunity for me to thank everyone who has expressed excitement about this book to me and to other people. THANK YOU. That means so much. I hope the book itself makes the anticipation worth your while.
If anything I think you are guaranteed a novel with a pretty cover. :)
Zombies zombies zombies!
f(O_o)f f(O_o)f f(O_o)f <- zombies!
It has been a long time since I blogged! It’s probably a bad thing I begin every blog entry with variations of this sentence. I once read that it’s terrible form to call attention to the fact you’re a bad blogger, which means I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! But I thought I’d type something up because I’ve been making a slew of Book 4 related announcements all over Twitter and Facebook and we know nothing I say is official until I shove it in a blog entry like ten weeks later. So here we go! As of today, my fourth book is officially done. There are not enough exclamation marks to express how I feel about that so I am not going to use any. Here is the title, which I revealed ages ago:
You might be wondering why I decided to make that an image. I was thinking since I announced it everywhere else first I should go the extra mile here. I also thought I should make up for my blog neglect and tell you some more things about This is Not a Test IN THIS SPACE that I have not announced anywhere else. Blog exclusive! What things? Well, the answers to these questions: When is This is Not a Test coming out? and What is This is Not a Test about?
In answer to the first question: June 2012 is when This is Not a Test is estimated to come out. I am not sure exactly when. But I don’t want you to miss it! So cancel everything for that month and pencil in THIS IS NOT A TEST PROBABLY COMES OUT. If you want to. I want you to, of course, but I want lots of things.
In answer to the second question–what is This is Not a Test about? Well. I have been wanting to tell you that for ages! I think this is the longest I have gone without giving you an idea of what I’ve been working on but there is a very good reason for that. This book has been hard and it has been many things. At one point, it wasn’t even going to be the next book! But now it is! So I can tell you WHAT it is! Are you ready? ARE YOU? Okay. Here goes. This is Not a Test is about…
Oh, whoops. SORRY. That’s not it. That’s how I feel inside every day. Ahem.
Let’s try this official sounding summary instead:
It’s the end of the world. Six students have taken cover in Cortege High but shelter is little comfort when the dead outside won’t stop pounding on the doors. One bite is all it takes to kill a person and bring them back as a monstrous version of their former self. To Sloane Price, that doesn’t sound so bad. Six months ago, her world collapsed and since then, she’s failed to find a reason to keep going. Now seems like the perfect time to give up.
As Sloane eagerly waits for the barricades to fall, she’s forced to witness the apocalypse through the eyes of five people who actually want to live. But as the days crawl by, everyone’s motivations to survive begin to change in startling ways and soon the group’s fate is determined less and less by what’s happening outside and more and more by the unpredictable and violent bids for life–and death–inside.
When everything is gone, what do you hold on to?
But just in case that’s a bit too subtle, here is a snippet from the manuscript for clarification:
“Shut up,” Trace tells him.
YEAH.
SO WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Except some people guessed it every now and then, what I was writing! And I had to say, “ZOMBIES HA HA WHO ME WAT.” And then I did some school visits earlier this year and my most asked question was, “Why won’t you write a zombie book?” And I had to be like, “ZOMBIES HA HA WHO ME WAT MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.” Sorry for lying to your faces, people! This book was such a process that it was safer that way for all of us. And also admitting it before officially admitting it would’ve harshed on my reveal, you know? You guys would’ve had the stress of having to act surprised for my benefit on your shoulders.
So I was just thinking of YOU.
And fear not: if you liked Cracked Up to Be, Some Girls Are and Fall for Anything but zombies make you furrow your brows because they are not what falls into the category of ‘realistic YA,’ I think there is still something in here for you. ANYWAYS, soon I will write about zombies and how I love them in case you didn’t know and how alive they make me feel in my heart and the process of writing of this zombie book but for now I am just going to decompress and play some Left 4 Dead 2. Because short of surviving the zombie apocalypse, I can’t think of a better way to celebrate finishing my zombie book than playing a video game devoted to zombie carnage.
Seriously, you guys, I am really super excited and so happy to share this news with you. Writing this book was very demanding but it was worth it. I am so proud of it! And I hope you like it when it comes out! (In June!) (Probably!) Also you should add it on Goodreads! If you’re so inclined! And if you want up-to-date info on This is Not a Test, you should follow me on Twitter and Facebook since apparently news goes on the blog last, except this news, which was first. But don’t think that’s gonna be the standard!
I’m such a bad, bad blogger.
This WSJ article. When the link first started showing up in my twitter feed, I was like, “Oh dear, another misinformed person saying dumb things about YA? This seems to be happening a lot lately.” Or, to paint a clearer picture, I was all like:
But then I kept thinking about it and it was just SO RIDICULOUS and I was like:
As someone who went through (unfortunately typical) rough periods of teasing and bullying throughout school, art saved me up until and after I left it. Acting allowed me to escape until I was ready to confront. Music made me listen. Photography gave me a better understanding of how my past informed my perspective. And books. Books. BOOKS CHANGED EVERYTHING. I was just just JUST edging out of my teens, still walking wounded, when I discovered this book:
This book! This book is bleak as hell. Someone’s always whining about that (in fact The WSJ article is totally one of those someones! SURPRISE!). But anyways, this book, you guys. I remember flipping through the pages and having the most fervent wish that I could invent a time machine and hand it to my younger self. It was one of the most intense, incredible reading experiences I’d ever had. This corrupt school full of angry boys, victims of the system and each other, where it doesn’t matter if you’re a good and honest person because sometimes life is JUST THIS HARD–blew my mind. What these boys were going through was more extreme than anything I had ever gone through, but the core truth of the story was something I understood deeply and something that made me feel deeply understood after an entire adolescence of feeling like no one did. I instantly felt less alone.
Seeing yourself reflected, on some level, in the pages of a book is an incredibly powerful thing. I realized after reading The Chocolate War that I wasn’t looking for answers, I wanted to know people had the same questions. This completely informed the way I chose to approach my work.
The WSJ article is so ugh. I could pick it apart until my fingernails were all torn off and bloody from all the picking and whatnot. I am just going through the article again right now to write this and ugh I can’t. I can’t you guys. Don’t even get me started on the book lists being separated by gender.
Like I said, writing, for me, is about questions. I bring them to the page as truthfully as I can and by the time I’m done writing a book, I don’t always have the answers, but I feel so much better for having asked the questions out loud. I will never regret doing this and I am never going to stop doing this. As a result, I have been incredibly fortunate to receive emails from readers who have told me they felt I understood them and even letters from readers who have told me my books inspired them to get out of self-destructive situations and seek help.
Anyways. So many people are tweeting and blogging about this issue and they are saying it all much better than I could. I feel so grateful for books that open my eyes and make me look at/examine things–no matter how big or how small, light or dark, and whether I agree with them or not–in ways I didn’t before. As a writer, I can’t bring myself to sacrifice the kind of honesty that is required to do that for anyone else’s peace of mind and as a reader, I would feel so cheated by any writer who did. I am so thankful for writers who confront the darkness rather than hide from it. I am equally thankful for writers who show us the brighter side of life as well. AND OH MY GOD do you think there are books out there that do BOTH? I bet there are. Wow.
Also Meghan Cox Gurden, it’s okay to give teenagers credit. Although I see how recognizing their intelligence and awesomeness and ability to self-censor and think for themselves might’ve put a damper on your article. Also Wall Street Journal, this is how I feel about you right now:
amusing gifs from gifparty!
Three years on June 3rd.
I like to make note of it on my blog for myself and for him. He used to visit here all the time and loved to read the comments everyone left. He thought it was the most incredible thing, people reaching out to his granddaughter from their computers. I used to check my site stats and was able to tell when he visited, which I loved. It was like he was waving hello. I been trying hard to think of what I want to say about it all–his death and life now, after–and I’ve decided it’s this: I miss him more each year, not less, and I keep him in my heart.
More:
For Ken (2009)
Grief & Writing (2010)
